Romance or Retail?

As the evening progresses you notice that someone attractive across the room keeps looking in your direction. Your eyes meet as they approach. You have been feeling a little lonely lately and were hoping to finally meet someone you could have a relationship with. They walk up to you and say, “Hi”, you look like you could use some company.” You reply, “Name”? They are a little set back by that. They regroup and say, “I was hoping we could have a drink and get to know each other”. You reply, “Have an appointment”? They say, “No I don’t, but I thought you might like to talk.” You reply, “You need a pet”. 

Funny? Stupid? I see this kind of behavior all the time. Just replace “romantic interest” with “service customer”. I use this analogy of romance and relationships because we all know how it feels. Think about how people act around a romantic interest. They make eye contact, smile, extend a hand shake, listen without interrupting, stand close and ask questions. Whether on a date or at work, developing a lasting relationship requires the same skills and genuine interest in the other person.

Let’s look at some typical steps in dating and what they often look like at work:
You meet them for the first time: 

• On a date: Make eye contact, smile and extend a hand shake. “It is so nice to meet you. How is your day going so far?”
• At work, “Name?” while looking at your computer

You try to get comfortable and build some rapport:

• On a date: “How about a cup of coffee? I know a great place nearby. Would you like to go there with me?” Then, listen to and acknowledge their response.
• At work: “Have an appointment?”

You want to make a good impression and agree on something mutually satisfying:

• On a date: “What would you like to do next?”
• At work: “You’re due for an oil change and tire rotation.” 

You present an option and are told no:

• On a date: “Tell me what you are thinking?” or “What would you like to do?”
• At work: “I’ll make a note on your repair order so you don’t forget.”

You want the next date:

• On a date: “I really had a great time. How about you?” 
• At work: “They finished all the work. The bill is with the cashier.”

If she says she had a good time:

• On a date: “I am glad. When can I see you again?”
• At work: “Someone from the factory may send you a survey. Make sure you answer completely satisfied. It’s my report card!”

You want her to know you still think about her:

• After a date: “I was thinking of you today and what you might like to do next”.
• At work: She may get an automated CRM message reminding her of the survey.

Why do I bring this up?
For 6 years, I have worked on a project for one of the largest multinational companies on earth. Their goal is to differentiate themselves from their competition by creating an experience that their customers love and are eager to tell others about. Their research shows that above all, customers want four things: 
1. Trust 
2. Respect 
3. In-Control
4. Relationships. 

My experience shows that most of the people I coach and many who lead these initiatives are skipping over the fundamental element of a signature experience and spending far too much time, energy and money focused on the wrong things. How do you discover the right things? When I started my coaching career, a mentor told me that any performance issue would be attributed to one or more of five things:
1. People
2. Process
3. Training
4. Support
5. Pay Plans. 

He said if I examined these closely I would find the source of the issue and be able to offer an effective solution. Of the 4 things that the research said customers desire most, it is obvious that “People” have the biggest impact on the greatest number.. Consider this. Have you ever met anyone who didn’t think of an individual and their behavior when you ask them to talk about a time when they felt Trust, Respect, In-Control or Relationships? I haven’t. So, “People” create a great experience! 

Why is it important? 
Many managers approach trust, respect and relationships at work in ways that would make absolutely no sense in their personal lives. Sadly, they focus on perfect satisfaction surveys instead of lasting relationships. Their emphasis on good surveys will often drive relationships, loyalty and advocacy down! Yet, I have never seen an organization focused on lasting relationships that did not have great surveys, loyalty and advocacy. Loyal customers who return are like family or close friends. They already know, like and trust you. You see them often and have a relationship built on knowledge of each other and common interests. They are willing to give you some leeway when their experience isn’t perfect. At least half of the people that come into a car dealership don’t have that lasting relationship yet. Many of them are there for the first time, a first date. They are important to you and the business. You should want to develop a relationship with them. Many of your front-line folks struggle with that first date, let alone a second one. 

The bottom line. 
Managers must monitor behaviors and coach their people. To create the lasting relationships that will drive satisfaction, loyalty and advocacy up, try this simple approach. Teach everyone to ask themselves this question before saying or doing anything, “Would I say or do this on a date?” If not, then don’t say or do it!